Questions for Live-Action Remakes

 Why must the lead characters in a movie be aged to at least their mid-teens when they’re supposed to be preteens? 

In the His Dark Materials series, could someone please explain why that got so popular almost a decade after they tried making a film that was actually accurate to the books? Seriously. Everyone knows that both Mrs. Coulter and Lyra are supposed to be blonde, and Lyra’s only supposed to be around eleven or twelve. Dafne Keen is sixteen.  The movie version of Tuck Everlasting made the main character, Winnie at least fifteen, when the book makes it clear that the character is supposed to be a little girl. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be about nine. 

This is also true with Netflix’s Enola Holmes, (which I admit I enjoyed almost as much as the books, because I admire Enola’s spirit. Acting like the Victorian era’s standard of a “well-bred lady” would be so boring! Who cares if you can laugh “politely?” ) They made Enola a sixteen-year-old. The character is supposed to be fourteen.  (Even though Millie Bobby Brown nailed the role!)

Seriously, why are almost all movies based on books with a preteen girl as the hero suddenly made into teenage rom-coms? Male characters tend to stay the same ages! Not all girls like that genre. 

If you turn all film adaptations of stories featuring female protagonists into young adult romantic comedies, then people in the age group the books were actually written for won’t be interested. These books were written to get kids to read, if they don’t get the real story, they won’t want to read them. What’s the point?

Also, I’d like to correct a few misconceptions. While I have no qualms about diversity, have you ever noticed that lately every traditionally white female character they recast as black is always the redhead? I’m not annoyed about the racial representation, more so about losing my own minority group’s representation, and I don’t mean white people or on the spectrum.

 

The reason a lot of fans of The Little Mermaid got so upset with the live-action casting for the lead is not because of her skin color, but because of her hair color. There is only a 50% chance that two people who carry the MC1R gene will have a redheaded child and with every generation, that likelihood gets smaller. They want kids to see characters who look like them, right? 

Well, if you haven’t already guessed why I know so much about red hair, when I was little, Ariel was the only Disney Princess who looked and acted like me, albeit, she’s a few shades darker. I realize that sounds like white privilege, (which I don’t believe in), but it’s the truth! Before her, Cinderella’s stepsister, Anastasia was the only predominant redhead! We just want our favorite hyper-curious mermaid spitfire of a princess, (yes, I’m aware of the irony of that description), to have her trademark hair! Also, we’re going to miss Jodi Benson’s incredible singing voice. She really can sing like that! No wonder Don Bluth had her lend her vocal abilities to Thumbelina in his 1994 masterpiece of the same name. His work is the reason I want to study the possible survival of the youngest daughter of the last Czar of Russia. (You’re totally googling that, aren’t you? I get that a lot).

Photographic evidence that Black people can in fact have red hair

There actually is a compromise. Black people can be redheads too! I think it’s a form of Albinism or something, but it’s true. And while we’re on the subject, there is in fact a difference between redheads and gingers.  Ginger hair is lighter and comes with more freckles. And strawberry blonde counts as red, you know. Take it from me. My grandma is a stylist and if you don’t believe me, you can Google it.  I personally just consider the 2023 version of the movie to be the same story from another part of the multiverse. That way, there’s no need to argue. 

 The reason almost everyone I’ve asked prefers the classic Lil’ Orphan Annie over the 2014 remake is because well, after almost a century in the comics, I don’t think she needs to change.

 I mean yes, the modern remake is cute, Quvenzhané Wallis was adorable, and I agree that representation is important, but can anything really compete with the tried-and-true classic? I just wanted to defuse several fan-fights before this got violent. 

It’s also pretty obvious what the real reason why Warbucks adopted Annie was. He was a single man living alone in a big, empty house. He was lonely. Apparently, he was a redhead, himself in his youth, so I guess Annie reminds him of himself. He’s done a wonderful job as a father. 

Lil’ Orphan Annie’s Very Animated Christmas shows that Annie grows up to be a philanthropist. Dr. Anne Warbucks D.V.M, used her inheritance to start a charity foundation for underprivileged kids. And she named it after Daddy Warbucks.